I hope you’ve read my sex blog! BUT we all know intimate relationships are much more than what goes on naked and under the sheets!
How many times have you said to a friend ‘well, he/she just doesn’t GET me??’ The bottom line is we are all inherently needing nurturing, relational comfort and acceptance from our partners – and in our relationships with ourselves!
What you expect from a partner is very much linked with your inner sense of self – what you value and hold dear in yourself will reflect the kind of partner you choose and the expectations you set of a partner.
Some key questions to ask in reflecting on your relationships are these;
- How well does my partner truly know my inner value system? (What I believe in, what I think is Ok, what I want and what I feel I need)
- How consciously do I share this with my partner and in what way? (Do things get to ‘breaking point’ where I end up ‘acting out’ in some way which ‘red flag’s’ an unmet need in me?)
- How does that impact on the quality of my relationship? (What effect does this have on how I feel, how my partner feels and how we communicate about it?)
These points all relate to our attachment system. The attachment system is the basis for all our relationships with people and ourselves.
If you’re interested to find out more about attachment in relationships read this amazing book by Amir Levine called ‘Attached’ – it’s only a few pounds and will change the way you look at relationships!
This short video is an easy way to look at our own style of attachment in our relationships;
You could also find out more about what attachment is, here;
Finally, here are some websites that offer powerful insights and useful info to help us get the best from ourselves and relate to the people in our life;